CAPS #6 Cole Frederick

Differences-Similarities Dialectic

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            There are two important principles that explain the Differences-Similarities Dialectic. First, the similarity principle says that individuals tend to be attracted to people they perceive to be similar to themselves (Martin & Nakayama, 2009). Secondly, finding people who agree with our beliefs confirms our own beliefs and provides us with cognitive consistency. Cognitive consistency is defined as having a logical connection between existing knowledge and a new stimulus. Many individuals seek partners who like the same types of activities and hold the same religious views as them. Intercultural relationships most often involve individuals that are opposite in beliefs from eachother. Research has shown that the best relationships have an equal of similarities and differences between the partners. It is good to share common values but it is also a great thing to learn different ways from your partner.

                The Differences-Similarities Dialectic explains why “Birds of a feather flock together” and “Opposites attract” both hold true. Most people are attracted to individuals are like them, but the best relationships come together when there is a good mix of similarities and differences. An example of this in the intercultural communication context would be two individuals hold a relationship where they are attracted to each other for both their differences and similarities. For example, the individuals may have different backgrounds and skin color, but they may both share the same religion. Many intercultural relationships don’t occur because the individuals aren’t around other cultures enough or don’t think that it can work out. Intercultural relationships are often very successful if the two individuals take the time and get to know someone of a different culture or background.

            Learning about this topic has opened eyes to my life and made me realize I’ve been in many relationships that follow this same pattern. Both in my friendships and romantic relationships, it seems like the individuals have a good mix of similarities and differences from me. My best friend is super talkative and loud, whereas I’m more quiet and conservative. Although we differ in this way, we both share the love for our faith and sports. I think this brings a good balance to my life and shoes me different ways of doing things. This will help me in my further intercultural communication encounters, because it will help me realize that differences are okay and often healthy for a relationship. Just because someone doesn’t like the same things I do or believe in the same things, doesn’t mean that I can’t be compatible with them. Similarities and differences combine in a relationship to make it well-rounded and healthy.

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References

Martin, J. N., & Nakayama T. K. (2009). Intercultural communication in contexts (5th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.

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