Lauren Bayne CAPS Blog #6

Self-Disclosure 

Martin and Nakayama define self-disclosure as revealing information about oneself (2009) and is an important turning point in any relationship, though in this more specific context, in intercultural relationships.  Depending on the nature of the self-disclosure, this turning point may move the relationship up to a new level.  Conversely, it may bring the relationship down a notch if the self-disclosure is interpreted as negative or if it offends the other person. 

I have been developing a friendship over the past year with a girl my age that grew up in Bulgaria, a third culture kid.  (Here’s a chance for you to remember concepts from previous chapters! Just kidding.)  Third culture kids, if you do not remember, are children who grew up in multiple cultural contexts because their parents traveled a lot.  These kids have created their own third culture, a combination of all the cultures they have experienced.  My intercultural relationship with this girl has gone to a higher level of friendship than many of my other friendships because both of us have self-disclosed with each other.  She instigated this self-disclosure and it took me by surprise.  I was very wary of disclosing anything about myself to her, but because she “put herself out there” first, it was much easier to do so because I knew that she genuinely wanted to know things about me and that her reaction would be positive. This mutual self-disclosure has moved our friendship to a higher level and there is a higher level of trust between us now. 

Self-disclosure is a very important element of intercultural relationships.  I will remember this in future relationships because through self-disclosure with people from different cultures, I can gain insights into the other person’s culture and become more culturally competent.  But, I will need to grow more comfortable with disclosing information about myself.  I have found that it is a very difficult thing to do.  It can be difficult to figuratively “lay yourself on the line” and have the possibility of negative consequences.  In the future, I may have to be the first to instigate self-disclosure because the other person may be too wary to do so.

Movie clip from "The Invention of Lying" where self-disclosure goes too far.

References:

Martin, J. N., & Nakayama T. K. (2009). Intercultural communication in contexts (5^th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.